August, 16th

There's a stressy thing in my head, and I can't get it out of my mind. Too many thoughts, frustrations and tears.

I'm not the poor one, I'm the afraid one. Afraid to let my own children die like that. If I'm still alive by then.

Everything is breaking.

No one is trying to heal it. I'm not the one who can do it. I'm the one who's waiting.

I actually can't cry anymore. My hope for a better life is just gone. I'm even more pessimistic than I already was.

This day I remembered her screaming. I didn't know it was so loud and hurting until I heard it again.

Yeah, I was scared. Afraid that she'd hurt her again, and not only with words.

And the moment my mom told me to be not like her was awful.

18:19. I missed the double time. Bad luck.

When I was young I cried myself to sleep a lot. Once my sister heard me and she called my dad. He talked with me but that didn't make me feel better. It was the fact that she cared about me which did.

Ridiculous to think that. I know better now.

Everyone's selfish. We might think we're social as heaven, but finally we'll all be selfish. In a case between life and death you'll always choose yourself.

Stop dreaming and come back to earth.