Every fucking day I think back to that conversation we had last week. It can't be out of my mind for one whole hour. When I'm feeling a little better, your name comes up in my mind again and it always makes me upset. You think I hate you, but I don't. Ofcourse I won't hate you, in the end everything you said was right.
I do post things on Twitter and Blogger, because that's one of the few ways how I can express myself, my feelings. BUT THAT DOESN'T WANT ME TO MAKE THINGS SENSATIONAL. Do you really think I'm sensational, interesting or whatever? You don't need to read anything I write, ofcourse you don't. Maybe I don't even want you to: I just want me to have it written down. Why I put it on the internet for everyone to read? Because it's possible. I trust the internet, as long as I don't post any porn-pics of myself or whatever -which I already wouldn't do in the first place-. I've got friends who live too far away to meet them often so I communicate through the internet. Nobody always needs to know how I really feel but that doesn't mean I can't post things without trying to be 'sensational'. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I just want to tell my story- just like I did before everything started.
And if you really think I'm appointing, well I'm glad that you don't know much about feelings. Not everything depends on facts.
The last thing: you said that when I really wanted to, I'd already be dead. You are right, defenitely. Maybe I have to prove what I want. Fact is that I can't because I'm afraid to fail. Yup, perhaps I fail that much, just like I'm failing not to post my feelings here.
Thanks, thanks a lot. Really.
3 opmerkingen:
Weetje dat je erg goed schijft? Ik vind het fijn om je blogs te lezen, omdat je zoo oprecht bent en het durft. En, ben jij dat op die foto? Want dat is een heel erg mooi meisje.
Ik volg je al een tijdje, maar ik had nog geen account, dus, tja, dat wilde ik even laten weten.
Je bent niet alleen, remember that!
xoxo
Meid, je komt er wel weer bovenop, over een tijdje ga je je weer beter voelen, ik beloof het je.
Vergeet niet dat na de regen zonneschijn komt!
So live that you can look any man in the eyes and tell him to go to hell.
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