Watch me die

I can't expect people to understand me, can I? Because, well, people don't understand- even though they support me. And it hurts, even though that's not properly. Exaggeration, unloved, forever awkward.
You can only watch me die, day after day. Fake smiles, fake happiness, fake me. No, wait, that's not true. I can enjoy being with friends, with people I love. But I just can't live with the pain in my head.
Maybe this is life, maybe this is everything. If it is, nothing's worth living anymore. If it is, I'm not living for myself, I'm living for the people I love.
I can't expect people to stay with me. Everybody leaves once. That's okay, you've got to find your own luck. That's my wish to everyone: do what you love and do it well. Time will pass, mistakes will pass. Try to forget about them, only look back to remember what you've been reaching so far.
I feel like saying goodbye. Forever.