Mamsie, papsie

Here's one for my mom and dad. I really love them for raising me up and everything, but the fact that they don't know me and they're very authoritative stands in the way.
My sister said that they shouldn't try to get to know her now because they didn't try that when she was young either, and I realised she's right. She's totally right. They never talk to us, they only ask us what time we get home and who we are with. They only nag about us because we're always away from home, we never do anything and we never clean our rooms. Well, I actually have to admit their right about that, but the main reason for that is because I don't know how to act when I'm with them.
I know they're my fucking parents, but I don't feel home here and that's what I told them once. Admitting that was where I hurt them the most. And I regret that, I really do. Because maybe I shouldn't have said that, maybe it was better not to say anything. They wouldn't be hurt, I wouldn't be ashamed.
My mom and dad won't understand me when I tell them about my life. I've lied to them so many times, I always kept back things because I was afraid for their reaction.
But that doesn't mean I'm unthankful or disrespectful. You should know that I really love my parents, I respect them because they can live in this country after rushing away from Vietnam. But it's just the culture that's different and I think they should respect that.
They should trust me and believe me when I say that I won't die in a narrow lane and I won't do harddrugs.
I do wish that they would really know me once, though. I miss that ''talking about our days''-feeling I never had. But I don't think that'll ever happen.


Love, Mimi