I can't help it

But things get me very upset. It already has always been this way and I don't think it'll ever change. I know it's a weak thing to feel that much, but I can't help it. Yes, that sounds weak too, it sounds like I don't even try to, but I do. But you know, I can't push feelings away, that wouldn't be good either.


And out of all the people who don't, I actually really hoped you'd understand me. But you don't, all you said was ''so useless'' and that hurt too.


When I wake up, all I want to do is stay in bed all day, lying there and trying to ignore that painful feeling in my head. Or make it go away.


But all I do is living without living. Enjoying without enjoying. Sleeping without sleeping. And there's nobody here to understand, why does nobody notices I'm dying?
So alone.


Love, Mimi