Dear God, don't let me stay awake that long anymore

I'm so sorry.

It's just because I'm tired all the time of thinking about what went wrong, what I couldn't fix. It wasn't only you. All the frustrations were putting me in a closet, and I wanted to get out. I couldn't stay there, I couldn't breathe.

And now, what now? I already missed you before I let you go.
Well, time's passing by and I just let it this way. You'll get over that, I'm not that important for you, and you know it!
But it sucks. It sucks to be hurt. To be broken, tired and when I just can't put my mask on.
And I'm tired to know that it'll get better every time. I know I should feel it, just not to become a feelingless bitch. And everyone knows how it can ache, everyone knows the pain.
All I want to tell you is that I love you. I really do. The point is that I can't do it.
Being afraid isn't just something you are, it's something you can't get off of you.
What I need is a hug, Ben & Jerry's and something to put my attention on. But I'm not able to eat.
I wish I never talked about love. I wished I kept my feelings to myself.
I love you, so I let you go. You never really were mine anyway.
And just as you say; life's a bitch. And I'll get over it.

xoxo.